Gifts From the Wilderness – September 5, 2016
Ever experienced a wilderness in your heart? By wilderness I am speaking about a feeling that tells you there is no place home but you can’t find home even when you are sitting on your couch! Every wilderness experience exists to be a sacred sojourner and teacher to us. Even silence and aloneness offers comfort in her presence.
The past two years I lived like a nomad, house sitting whenever I could, creating space for my wilderness to teach me. My journey was a leap of faith as I need to be surrounded by sameness that reflects my life. In the beginning I packed my car to the brim, bringing with me heavy boxes of pictures, clothing for all seasons, at least 50 books, even more DVD’s and all 78 journals I have filled. I lived in a basement suite for 2 months without TV or music. I never watched one DVD on my laptop. Instead, I spent my time exploring the Elbow River, the lessons and love now very clear in my dark nights of my soul journal recordings. I was struck by how profoundly lonely and betrayed I felt when I wrote these journal entries and yet on the other side, the morning side, the lesson learned and wisdom gained side, I see and feel the palpable presence of God blanketing me.
As I journeyed from house to house and sometimes back to my own home, even home and and the homes of others began to morph into oasis’s of comfort and peace. I recognized myself as a spiritual transient who was creating an inward home that was unable to be shaken by anyone or anything external. I began to take less with me until I was carrying only one suitcase. Lightening my load created space for me to be aware that I was creating space in my body, soul and mind to see clearly, receive fully and heal deeply.
Strange places became new friends that allowed me to explore myself with compassion and joy. I befriended my shadows with grace and understanding and felt them dissipate into gifts full of rich colours. My head joined my heart and squeezed out every shred of worry. Trust became my delight and my delight turned my journey into dreaming, creating and holy fun.
One of the clear lessons that was seared into my being was that I needed to leave behind people and ideas that betrayed themselves and me. I am open to the flow of life, living as one crying out in the wilderness, “Prepare the way for the One that gives life.” The wilderness is a gift so unwrap it for yourself. I promise you that you will be abundantly surprised by joy.